Held

Today I attended a memorial service for a baby who never experienced life outside of her mother's womb. Today I attended a service to support two parents who are not only grieving the loss of their baby girl, but who are also grieving the loss of the excitement and anticipation of becoming parents. Today was a tough day.

One of my childhood friends lost her baby from placenta abuptio at 7 months, last Saturday. I have spent the past several days thinking about this, literally dreaming about this, and imagining what this pain must feel like. I have an idea, but the excitement of having a child grows month after month, just as you get to know your unborn child more with each passing day. I imagine that the wound is a little different than what I have experienced; a little deeper. Let me just say, I can't think of many things that would be more painful.

So... in the midst of this great pain I am reminded of a truth that never strays too far from my mind. Pain and suffering on this earth are the very things that drive us into the arms of God. Without great trial in our lives, we would never realize that we are insufficient in and of ourselves; and that He is all sufficient. We are insufficient to handle such pain and hardship, insufficient to carry on in peace. But He is sufficient, providing and being all that we need. I haven't lost a parent, sibling, or spouse (thank God), but I have experienced enough loss in my life to have learned to remember this truth during times like these. It almost seems like these times of loss are much needed opportunities to remind ourselves that "God is in control" and "His ways are higher than ours; His thoughts are deeper" (both truths spoken at funerals everyday). Losing those closest to us, particularly in tragic circumstances, is a reality check on so many levels. There is nothing like thoughts of death and eternity to make you self-evaluate and reflect on your view of God.

In light of loss, I have added a new song to my playlist- "Held" by Natalie Grant. This song is so touching, reminding us that we've never been promised a life without trial or suffering. But rather, the promise is that during those times He will hold us in His everlasting arms.