Identity Crisis

While having lunch with a friend earlier this week, I said something that caught my own attention. A phrase that I've said quite a few times since June- "I was ready to give up my career to start a family and now I don't have either." There is something particularly exposing about this statement for me, as I usually end up with my faucet running and apologizing for letting my volatile emotions erupt- (a little Krakatoa experience for me and any unfortunate bystanders).

That statement must be a reflection of my personal struggle for identity and purpose. That and a protest against the current trials in my life. As most of you know, I did not go back to a full time teaching position this year and lost my second child in utero in September. You see, I was willing to trade one identity crutch for another, but to lose both at the same time???...wow, that leaves me nothing to attach my name to, nothing to call my job... no more Emily the teacher and unfortunately not Emily the mom, so what about just Emily?

We do this, don't we? Identify ourselves by what our occupation is or who we are to our family- mom, daughter, wife, etc. The truth is, we could easily be like Job, losing everything that meant anything to us in this life, but we would still exist, still have worth, and still be valuable and special to God. So, all earthly titles aside because they will all pass away, we must know who we are in Christ- His beloved, a jewel in the crown of the Lord, a child of the most High God, fearfully and wonderfully made with a divine purpose, anointed by God to accomplish that purpose, fully equipped, a temple of the Holy Spirit, the head and not the tail, above only and not beneath, created in the image of God, beautiful, worthy because of His grace, and nothing without Him.