This post is really the beginning of the birth story of our second child. Conception story, maybe? Don't worry... I'll keep it PG.
I love this chapter of my life because it reminds me, not only of God's sovereignty, but also His kindheartedness in doing thoughtful little things for us... sweet nothings, really. That He would relate to us on such an emotional level says that He is not a distant pawn player, but an intimately involved Father and Friend.
I spent a few months last fall contemplating our growing family. Is having more children something I am cut out for? like practically speaking? can I handle taking care of a home, being a help meet to my husband, pursue personal passions and good works, AND have more than one child??
In His perfect timing, God has brought many women into my life as speakers of truth, faithful friends, and great examples of mothers of multiple children families. With some of these women I searched the scriptures, reading what God says about children and our roles and blessings in childbearing. With other mom friends, I've talked more about the practicality of daily living with different sized families.
Finally, I simply asked the Lord, "What do you want my family to look like? A family with few children? Many children? Close together in age? Father apart? " While I didn't get a clear answer to these specific questions, I think finally, my heart on the matter arrived in a good place-- simply being open-minded to whatever God's plan is for my family.
Whatever that may look like.
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” -James 4:13-15
I chatted a little with Jimmy about these things, but he had less thoughts (a man with less to say than his wife, imagine that). We had always agreed that we would wait until Grace Louise was potty trained before getting pregnant again... just a little nugget of wisdom God revealed just for my sanity. And I wanted to honor that. We had no idea Grace Louise would be potty trained before two! Needless to say, that factor alone did not have me convinced of good timing!
Driving home from a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting one Thursday, I heard something on the JOY FM radio station... I couldn't even tell you what it was! Something about mothering, childbearing, the joys of children... regardless, it was perfect confirmation for me! Yes, Lord, this is the time. I'm ready! I can do this!
Now the rest of this story gets just a little crazy... I pull in our neighborhood, mentally reviewing the schedule of my,
uhhm, cycle, and super giddy about finding out when l would be fertile again. When I got home Jimmy was there, which was strange because he's usually not home during the day. I put Grace Louise down for her nap and then go to the bathroom downstairs. I grab a Parenting magazine, (yes still on the pot) and read this short almost-article about gender determination in pregnancy. Blah blah blah, male sperm are faster but with less endurance than female sperm. So, fertilization that occurs closer to your ovulation date has a (maybe) higher chance of producing a boy baby.
Without providing TMI on how I come to this conclusion... seconds later, Holy Guacamole, I realized I was ovulating THAT DAY! You may be shaking your head right now,
Emily you're such a weirdo... maybe so, but that is SO something God would do! And I was tickled blue for another proverbial nod of approval!
I could hardly get my pants up before running to Jimmy. I'm sure I was talking 100 miles an hour, but ultimately only one thing mattered... NOW IS THE TIME :-P
We did practice self restraint for a moment to pray... literally. We asked God for a little boy! I'm not suggesting that we get all that we ask for in prayer... God's ways are so much higher than ours, and I would rather be submissive to His plans for me rather than insistent on what I
think I need... but I would hate to have not because we asked not!!! So we asked :-)
My faith is encouraged just by writing this! And since that day, I have not for one second questioned the timing or goodness of adding to our family. With such clear direction, how could I not fully trust God for every single need in this!